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We've been friends with a woman, who has faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often blindsided by people. Her partner left her, and it was a huge shock. A lot of her friends drifted away during that time, because they seemed drawn to the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She made greater energy in our friendship, probably realised better the meaning of companionship.

The Pattern With Friends Drifting Away

Over the years, several of her friends have drifted apart without her being knowing the cause. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, although she had been an excellent employee, she departed without knowing what had changed.

Present Situation

Lately, we've both retired so we're spending frequent meetups, however, I feel the part I play in our friendship is to listen. I introduce subjects but she shifts them to her own topics. Regarding political views, she has firm beliefs. I attempt to propose factchecking or other angles.

She is planning a trip to a nation I've visited many times and lived in for a while. I attempted to offer advice, but this was unappreciated. She purely only wanted validation of her decisions. I recently come back from a month in that country she hopes to meet, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I don't want to be a friend that walks away abruptly, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the impact of her behaviour on my self-esteem. Currently, I am in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

It's possible to cut and run, however, that approach is seldom the easy answer we imagine. However, addressing it aiming for working things out demands strength and willingness on both your parts.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Step one involves describing what typically happens when you talk. Aim for this to be objective and clear and basically what a recording device would replay. Next involves sharing the way it makes you feel. This allows for no dispute here. Your feelings belong to you, of course. The third step is to question how you are both going to change the pattern between you."

Consider she too has her own side, thus requiring you to stay open to acknowledge it. A helpful technique involves stating her:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to not say anything for half an hour."

It's wildly impactful for promoting mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

She may dismiss everything, as some people have a self-protecting mindset: they rely on a narrative regarding their experiences they cannot abandon because their very survival relies on it being the only thing they trust. It's tough when there seems no thoroughfare in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. But she may initially present like this then consider about what you've said. And even if you don't achieve a fix, it will give you satisfaction from having been open and direct.